When you’ve seen as many catastrophes as I have, “disaster” becomes a relative term. Us perpetual kidnap victims get to hang our heads while waiting for the tights-wearing crowd to arrive. I'm extra special. Why? Because my only real power is being kept alive by constantly attracting insane events. That's me. Adam. The wrong guy in the wrong place, every single time. Sit back, grab your drink or drug of choice, and follow along as I hit some of the highlights. We'll start with Ted, a re...